Semester Take Away

What to say about the semester…

I have had mixed feelings about this class. This class was my favorite class I took this semester but there were a few ups and downs that took the gleam off for me.

Up

The first class was exactly what I was hoping for. I don’t know why I was so stoked (do people still say stoked?) to be doing the assignments and I had hoped others in the class would expend the same amount of energy on the projects and in class discussions as I had hoped.

Down

I was a fool to expect others to have the same work ethic as me. It makes me feel old when I think about how most of the people in class were ten or more years younger than me. And yet with just ten years difference there seemed to be a world of difference in drive and desire to get as much as possible from class. I’m not talking about the “art therapy” portion, but rather, the learning new techniques to approach assignments or jobs. There was a lot of surface skimming, not a lot of getting past the clique to the really creative stuff.

Up

The taste of cumquat sounds and feels like… a fun approach to a problem. I tried so hard to go past the assignments as I could. I could have just done something for the texture, or just something for the audio. But trying to take the visual out completely and focusing on both the touch and sound made me happy. I was so very proud of that project. And yet I hardly got any feedback from it. I was disappointed. Pride cometh before the fall…

Down

I failed at the round robin. That’s the only way I can describe it. I failed. I failed at time management. I failed at proper research. I failed myself. But it didn’t kill me to fail so that was good. And because I failed so hard, I was able to attempt it again for the fear assignment. And I felt like I won that time. I’m glad I didn’t do what I had planned on doing for the fear assignment. I love to sing even though I’m pretty sure I suck at it. I was going to sing my favorite song in class and volunteer to sing a solo in church. Because my fear was altered due to unforeseen circumstances…I was spared the torture of failing in front of a lot of people at something that gives me such pleasure.

Up

I loved my bible dipping project. I loved how I approached it. Doing “research” and rejecting the normal definition of ‘reuse’ gave me a new approach to addressing a problem. That my friends is what I was hoping to get out of the semester.

Down

I was very disappointed with the passing of the torch…even before Beth broke her ankle. I have been in several classes where curriculum changes so drastically that lessons are missed. For instance, in grade school, my class never learned geography (and I do mean never. I never had a lesson on states or capitals. And I sure as hell never learned where the other countries are located.) The curriculum had changed so much between years that lessons were never given. This trend has continued in my high school and college education. I always get in the class that things go wrong, get changed up, or a new approach is being tested. It drives me nuts. I get to feeling jipped. That is how I felt…jipped.

Up

The summer is here and I’m going to take a nap.

I do want to say thank you.

Thank you for all the fun projects.

Thank you for creating this class.

Thank you

The Final Take Away

This last class was just another class it seemed. There were some good projects…some last minute projects…my project that didn’t turn out as well as I had planned in my head. I loved the puzzle, because all butts are great. I also liked the sketch book turned glitter bomb book. But I want to get back to ….

All Butts are Great

My insecurities make me feel like skinny people are judging me for being overweight. I could never know what someone else thinks about me or other “big kids.” But I project my judgement of myself onto the others. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin so how could anyone else be comfortable looking at me? But when I heard “all butts are great” coming from someone who does not look like she’s ever struggled with her weight, it makes me realize, I’m probably a harsher judge of myself than others are of me. People have their own problems and probably don’t give me a single thought.

Other than that…

I really enjoyed Eric’s capstone project. It really struck a chord with me. My mom is battling cancer and has been for 10 years. People are always asking how she’s doing, how I’m doing, how the family’s doing… and it is very easy to get annoyed with the question. But in taking a moment to think that others might be uncomfortable and yet genuinly concerned… it would make the annoyance seem less important.

Altered Book of Me

I have been very excited about the “altered book” assignment. I have spent way too much time focused on how I was going to execute the ideas rolling in my mind. I should probably start at the beginning.

The Book

The book that represents a part of me that I do not like was Idiot’s Guide to Personal Finance. I chose this book because even though I know how to save money and make good decisions, I do the opposite. I am continually broke and my bills keep increasing. I’m a financial failure. I admit it.

The Concept

During the “50 What if…’s” assignment I fell in love with the idea of burning my book and sending the ashes to have a diamond made. It would have only cost me $3000 (see why I’m a financial idiot?) But I don’t have $3000 at the moment so I had to forgo that option.

The other idea I had that really resonated with me was to make a Mӧbius strip with my book. I had originally thought about taking the pages and making a paper machete Mӧbius strip. But that seemed uninspired and not terribly creative.  I kept thinking about the diamond idea. It led to the decision to make a pendant in the shape of the Mӧbius strip with the ashes casted in resin as a ball that rolls on the surface.

The Preparation

It should be said that this pendant has cost me quite a pretty penny. It wasn’t as expensive as the diamond but it wasn’t cheap. I purchased silver sheets, two part resin, silicon mold, silver solder, a blow torch…and other paraphernalia. I watched videos and tutorials until I felt like I was an expert myself… that was a lie.

The Failures

It's amazing to me how even with all the preparation and effort I put into learning how to accomplish my proposed project, it all falls to shit. It just goes to show that the best laid plans to not guarantee success.

I have a beautiful silver pendant ready to be soldered. Unfortunately I decided to save a few dollars and bought a simple silver solder that said I wouldn’t need flux…they lied. I will have to revisit this silver pendant this summer because I really want it for my personal reasons. But because this failure, I had to reevaluate my approach.

The Rebound

In my reevaluation I realized I have in my possession what I need to create an interesting altered book. I have still burned my book and will be utilizing the ashes. But instead of making a small ball of resin to roll on the surface of the silver, the entire Mӧbius strip will be the ashes in the resin. I, again, am excited after the mortal blow to my confidence my previous failure dealt to my confidence.

The New Approach

The process was an eye opener and now I want to dabble more in silicon mold making. I used polymer clay to form the shape I wanted to cast my resin in. I am not a proficient sculptor so it has issues but I’m okay with it. I made a silicon mold from the baked clay. From there I mixed the two part resin, added the ashes (and some blue dye because I like blue.)

The Reason Behind It All

Why would a Mӧbius strip have meaning to me? Everything that I am, Everything I’ve seen, Everything I’ve done, and Everywhere I’ve been, it’s all a part of who I am and nothing can or will change it. I can pull inspiration from my past because it is a part of me. No matter how long it’s been it will always be a part of me. Live is not linear. Time is perceived that way but there really isn’t an end.

How I referenced our past assignments-

I have created a box (not very well) and on that box, I have doodled references to the assignments on the sides. The box is made of clear acrylic because I want to be able to share myself with others but I want to protect myself at the same time. There is no lid because I don’t want to be contained to a small space. I don’t want to be boxed away with preconceived notions of who or what I should be. I want to be able to escape those labels.

My final result was not as expected. It was flawed, just like me. There are pits and scars. There is some polish but the polish is spotty. Just like me.

ps. pictures will be added tonight. 

Second to Last Take Away

I find that I take a lot of notes during class. I have a horrible memory and by the time I get home, I have forgotten what I wanted to write in my take away. I took 6 ½ pages of notes today. I know I look down at my notebook to take notes, and I hope no one thinks I being rude or not paying attention to what anyone is saying. That being said, I noticed that there were a lot of people not paying attention to the presentations today. I find it rude that people would rather talk to each other, play on their phones, read a book, or work on homework while others were presenting their fear. I wonder why some seem to think it is not important to listen to their peers when they are presenting a project. I worry about this generation at times.

As For Today’s Fears

“If I’m not in total control, I lose my shit.”

How awesome was that one liner? I have been accused to be a control freak with OCD. I like things to be done correctly the first time and I don’t trust others to do it right. That being said, I do enjoy being surprised. As for Tory’s presentation, I loved the tornado she made. I was impressed that she had her family complete one also. To seal the things they can’t control within the tornado seemed to be a very therapeutic motion. Good on you, Victoria.

Freedom

I made a comment about the projection of fears tinting how we think others think about us and I stand by that comment. We all seem to think that other people judge us and find us lacking. But we have to remember that EVERYONE has insecurities and, most of the time, don’t think twice about us. It also can be explained by Daniel’s presentation last week, the way others react to us often is more about their own fears than about us.

Self-Discovery

Kennedy spoke about her self-discovery. I had to think about this a bit. I’m going to draw from my science background for this one. In any science field, when one makes a new discovery, the first thing we do is label it. What are we going to call it? What categories does it fit in? Is it plant, animal, mineral? Is it warm blooded or cold blooded? Is it a land, air, or sea creature? And the categorizing continues. These are all labels we assign to this new thing.

The same is done when we meet someone for the first time, we categorize them. Is this person a male or female? Tall or short? Nice or grumpy? Like me or not like me? Outgoing or shy? And the labeling continues until we have an understanding of who this new person is. If we only allow others to know the answer to one question, that is the only label we get. The more we allow others to know about us, the more complete the categorization process, the clearer picture we get about how that person fits in our lives.

On the flip side, because we fear the judgement and the potential pain this new person will inflict in our lives, we limit the amount of information we give them. We are judging them either worthy or unworthy of our true selves.  We make snap decisions about if someone is worthy of categorizing us based on first impressions. A lot of time we don’t take into account what is going on in their lives. We might think, “They are a jerk, I don’t want to give him/her a chance to know me and judge me.” But we don’t take into account that there might have been an event in their lives that put them in a retrospective mood that day. They might have been yelled at by a customer or co-worker for something that wasn’t their fault and are needing to step back to protect themselves from more hurt. Snap judgements….

Putting Forth the Effort

I was impressed by Kyle’s (with a C) effort. I think he truly understood the project and got a lot out of it. I made quite a few notes from his presentation. I liked that he recognized the first day that he knew his isolation from family and friends was only temporary so it didn’t feel real. That didn’t mean he didn’t have profound revelations during his project. He questioned if being with people defined who he was or if it was a result of who he was. He recognized that he could deal with sadness but not with frustration. He said he had higher anxiety about everyday things because he wasn’t able to share them with others. He said sometimes he was afraid because he felt like he should be afraid. He said he used a lot of escapes to make things less important. He said that no matter who he’s with or what he’s doing, there is always a reason to continue. He said light surrounds you even when you are trapped.

He said a lot of great things.

Finally Notes

When Jacob asked if we knew who he was and what he did, I realized it never thought about researching who was teaching me. Why haven’t I done this? I’m trusting my professors to teach me what I need to know to be a successful member of society. I should have been researching my professors long before now.

Take the Fear (and Apathy) Away

First off,

 I was very disappointed in this class. I was disappointed in the fact that this was just a regular class. All semester we have been talking about how the fear assignment was going to span multiple days, but instead it was rushed to get through as many people as possible. We were told those who wanted to go first would go first, those who wanted to go last would go last. Instead, we went around the circle like a normal class and it felt like just another assignment.

Secondly, 

it felt like a lot of the class treated this as just another assignment. There were a lot of “presentations” where there was not a tangible item or true presentation. It was just talking.

That being said,

 I did enjoy the presentations that had thought and work to it.

I found Alexander’s mask presentation interesting in that I would have found it easier being in a mask. My favorite job was working in a planetarium. I was in the dark and no one saw me, they just heard my voice. I have never had an easy time talking in front of people, but I LOVED leading planetarium shows especially with a full audience. But no one could see me so it was ok.

Daniel’s presentation about letting other people’s fears affect us was pretty interesting. I think we (and by we I mostly mean me…) don’t look past the action to find the cause of the action. But like Jacob said, bullying is a major action that is driven by fear. Instead of addressing the fear we address the action. Now there are people who are just mean.

I really enjoyed Jessica’s presentation and the idea behind her photoshoot. I, too, have been called a control freak (though I don’t think she used that phrase) and have a hard time relinquishing control. It’s hard when you know what you want and how you would do it, then watch others proceed differently with results that are not what you want. I especially liked that she did not see the result until class time. That was inspired.

Eric’s song was great. I was thinking about singing before my family implosion. I love to sing but I recently heard a recording of my voice and I realized I sound horrendous. I was going to address my fear of judgement by doing what I love yet know I suck at.

Ashley’s drawing was fantastic. It was fantastic because I feel the same way… I know I’m not a great drawer and I’m going to be disappointed in my effort, and won’t meet my personal high expectations. I need to take a page from Ashley and just do it.

I felt so bad for Brooke and her fear of her migraines. I only get migraines once every other month (usually) and I know my triggers. I know wine and the smell of artificial cinnamon will lead to excruciating pain. But to be limited in what I can do because it might trigger pain would be awful. I hope she finds relief soon :(

I was also disappointed in my project. I love the idea behind it. I just am sad that it turned out so big. I will be redoing it this summer and revising it so I can make a bracelet that I can actually wear. The one I made was so big it falls off my arm. I might be a big girl but I have delicate wrists.

I’m tired now and I’m calling this post quits.

Stay excellent my friends.

Fear

My Fear

I started my fear project concept thinking about my fear of the future. I mostly was afraid of what my career prospects were once I graduated. And while my project still applies to this anxiety, my focus morphed a bit. As I have stated in previous posts, my dad was put on life support and remained there for 8 days. We were told he had a 50/50 chance of coming home. This changed my focus in this fear assignment. I was afraid of loosing my dad. I have told my parents that they'd have to live forever because I refuse to accept that they will die someday. My dad is stubborn and likes to scare me. That being said my dad will live. He might have some long term damage, but he's still with us.

My Project

I was trying to come up with a physical project to manifest my fear. I remembered the poem by Walt Whitman, On the Beach at Night.

I kept seeing the line "The ravening clouds shall not long be victorious."

It will get better, we shall weather the storm and be stronger for it. Life continues no matter how dark we think things are. And the darkness will only last a short time.

For my project I wanted to create something that I could wear all the time to remind myself to not dwell in the negative. I read that line out loud, and printed the sound wave of my voice. I cut the sound wave into a strip of clay that was baked into a cuff bracelet shape. 

Instead of having a string tied around my wrist to remind myself, I have a beautiful cuff bracelet. 

The final result is not as I would have wanted. It's too big. But it is still beautiful. I shall be making a smaller one that I could really wear this weekend. 

1. Is the fear you identified for this project a fear, phobia, anxiety, or worry? 

My fear is more of an anxiety.

2. In what ways to you notice fear in your life?

I notice fear in my daily life when I start to have self-doubt and I have a hard time making decisions.  I’m very indecisive because I can imagine all kinds of scenarios both good and bad.

3. What does fear keep you from experiencing?

My fears limit my interactions with others because I’m afraid I’m not worthy of friendship. I’m missing out on interesting opportunities because I’m afraid of making the wrong decisions.  

 4. What is the use of fear in your life?

I try to use it as a motivator. If I’m better, if I try harder, if I work more efficiently, if I am a better person, my fears will be for naught. I will have outwitted the demons that haunt me and I will have success.

5. How does fear affect your life, especially in terms of creativity?

My fears effect my social life because I’m afraid of making a fool of myself or proving my inadequacies instead of merely feeling them. I’m my creativity, I think my fear is a positive. I’m able focus that feeling of inadequacies in order to make sure I’m confident in my work before I submit it. I don’t want to show a client, teacher, or peer something that I don’t feel is at least good. I’m afraid of that judgement and to avoid it I will work my tail off to find a new spin. I also want to take my fear of not adding up and it pushes me to “compete” with those around me. If my project is better than yours, I will not be judged so harshly.

6. What form does your fear take?

My fear manifests in a way that I envision worse case scenarios. It raises my blood pressure and propels me to do more…or to freeze up and stand alone.

7. How does making a creative project about your fear impact how you view it?

I think it makes me put my fear into perspective. If I can look at it from a standpoint of status, I can maybe put into perspective. Maybe I can minimize the fear by looking at it objectively. Trying to look in as a third person perspective I might be able to minimize the anxiety and maybe function more like a normal human being.

Finding Bliss

Obstacle 1 - My idea is stupid, not good enough, bad, or whatever adjective I want to use that day.

1.  What if I wrote the ideas down and put them aside for 24 hours before proceeding on them? 
2.  What if I put 3 ideas in a hat and picked one out blindly? If I’m disappointed in my result I know it’s not the right idea. 
3.  What if I close my eyes and visualize all aspects of the idea and excecution of the idea?

 Obstacle 2 – My idea delves too deep into my psyche. 

1.  What if I imagine being a third party looking in on the fear? 
2.  What if I use my more logical mind to analyze the idea? 
3.  What if I take five steps beyond the deep and look back to see if I still think it’s too far? 

Obstacle 3 – My idea will take more time than I have left. 

1. What if I remove the clock from the room? 
2.  What if I designate a strict time of day to dedicate to just the fear project and nothing else? 
3.  What if I take a break and just sit there thinking about it without doing it? Make a mind map? 

Obstacle 4 – I will fail no matter how much effort I put into it.

1.  What if I read inspiring stories of successful failures?
2.  What if I pretend I’m a character in a book? No matter how elaborate the scenario, the heroine always succeeds in a book. 
3. What if I write down a time I failed and the results of that failure, including my emotions? 

Obstacle 5 – I will bring forth from the universe the result I fear most.

1.  What if I pretend I’m in multiple dimensions where one is a guaranteed success?
2.  What if I visualize the result I crave? 
3.  What if I tell the universe fuck off?

A Good Place

Today I’m in a really good place. My dad is no longer on life support and is improving! I had to share that because I am so excited to see his eyes and his smile.

That being said I need to limit what I find interesting… and it is

SOLAR FREAKIN’ ROADWAYS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlTA3rnpgzU

Has anyone seen these? I know there are technical and economical issues with the idea, but wouldn’t it be cool if something like this could work? I have to write a paper for a stupid English class I have to take and my chosen topic is how current energy sources are poisoning us and our environment. I propose that we need to invest in clean energy like solar, wind, and hydro powers. If solar roadways was possible it would make for an awesome clean energy. I don’t think solar roadways would be viable in all environments but it could make a great idea for some of the sunnier states.

Anyway, I’m a happy girl and feeling very optimistic about life. So have a fantastic day and stay excellent.  

Calgon Take Me Away

Please!

I have decided that I need a vacation.

I was going to write about the class for my class takeaway...but then my dad ended up in ICU last night and was put on life support. This has made me forget almost everything about class. All I can think about right now is that I have so many blessings in my life, and the biggest one is my amazing parents. I guess this kind of lays in parallel to one thing we talked about yesterday. It also mimics the fear assignment because I almost lost my dad today.

The ICU doctor told us he had two organ failures and possible third. He said that when a patient has two failures the survival rate was 50%. When you add a third, it drops down to a 25% survival rate. He was not encouraging. But my dad is not one to take things lying down. He has rebounded faster than the nurse has ever seen in 20 years of nursing.

My parents are my heroes. Mom has been battling cancer for ten years and has been a pillar of strength. My dad has had a series of hardships, including a car accident that broke his back and should have paralyzed him as well as this most recent scare. And yet they chose to look on the bright side and live each day to the fullest. They don't make excuses for why they can't do something. They just do it and move on. I'm lucky to have such amazing parents, such amazing roll models, such amazing heroes.

I'm sorry this wasn't a reflection about class. Instead it's a reflection on my amazing parents.

Taken Away From Class

I missed class today.  I hate that.

I despise missing class. I'm paying to learn and by not showing up I'm cheating myself. But there was a good reason for missing. Family first, and all that. While I was sitting in the hospital waiting room I realized three things.

1. Every time I drive my dad's minivan I immediately start singing "I've got no strings" from Pinocchio. I don't know why. It's quite annoying.

2. I'm exhausted. After a weekend of last minute homework I really need a nap. I eventually got one while sitting in my dad's hospital room. He's the one who had surgery, but it was mom and me who took a nap. He was watching tv.

3. I have no idea what I'm doing. I just make shit up as I go along. And that's okay. I like me this way. I tend to question myself a lot. I have a lot of self doubt but I'm starting to realize that I'm no better and no worse than any other man, woman, or child. I don't think too many people are as confident as they let the world think. I'll just keep my head up and plow through life with as few cares as possible.

Hopefully today is the last day missed class.
See ya'll next week.

Tweet Tweet Little Robin

THE THEORY

The idea behind my project is to record my voice reciting my favorite poem. I will then take the audio file and create a digital image with the audio wave image. I will then play with it in Photoshop to create something. I want to print it out to create screen print on a canvas bag.

THE EXECUTION

Here is where I ran into issues. I hate to admit failure. But this time I'm going to have to throw in the towel, wave the white flag, beg mercy. I failed completely.

I made my audio recording...as best as I could with my crappy equipment will allow. I then tried to plug it into Encore. Tried being the operative word. I failed. So I tried to open the file with any program that would allow me to see the wave file. I failed with each and every one of them. I finally opened the file with AfterEffects and was able to see the sound file. It was totally not the file I wanted. I tried to screen shot it to put into Photoshop. It was such a bad image that I was not able to work with it.

I AM NOT DEFEATED!

I am not not going to let this set back get me down. By the end of this semester, I am going to figure out how to do what I want to do.

In theory, I would have had a final product that was completely different from the original. It would have gone from an audio to visual.

In theory, the lesson would have been that you can take inspiration from anywhere to create a visual work.

In reality, the lesson I learned is the pain of things not going as planned. I learned that I should have planned better. I WILL learn how to get the wave pattern from a sound file. I WILL learn how the merits of tenacity.

Are we taken away yet?

Take-Away....700.

I have taken out my contacts so as I’m typing this II can’t see a thing except blurs so I hope I don’t have too many typos. But here goes….

Art Therapy Session

I enjoyed the exercise from the art therapy book Beth brought to class. I enjoyed trying to come up with a story or sketch based on something we created with a word based on our projects. I found it quite humorous that so many people chose to try the hot and spicy route. Knowing how my stomach rebels against most foods I usually avoid hot and spicy. It was interesting how so many people felt comfortable enough to talk about the “end” results.

I also found it interesting that others tried some of the same fruit I tried. I know we were supposed to only try one new food, but I don’t seem to restrict myself too much when it comes to foods. I love trying new things. In fact, I plan on returning to Meijer soon to try some of the other fruits and veggies I saw there.

To tell the truth

I was kind of disappointed in some of the project reveals.  I probably did more than was needed, but it seemed others did less than they should. I have a hard time reminding myself that not everyone has the same work ethic as me. Not everyone values the same things I do. Not everyone is as excited to learn new ways to approach problems. I forget that so many of my classmates are so much younger than I am. I think that looking at problems from a different angle not only will aid us in getting un-stuck, but will also allow us to stand out in a sea of potential employers as one who can bring a new view to the table.

I’m going to quit typing now because my head is throbbing and I need to close my eyes. 

The Flavor of Kumquat sounds like...

Try Something New

That is the challenge of the day. Try something new.  To me this is not a difficult challenge other than I have an adventurous pallet and have already tried A LOT. Growing up, my grandfather would take us to ethnic restaurants, buy platters of everything on the menu, and require us to take three bites of everything. He said you can't really decide if you like something by only taking one bite. The first bite is filled with terror and the our preconceived ideas about how we are not going to like it. The second bite is a way of creating our own idea about what we've tried. And the third is a way of confirming our assessments. After our third bite, we could choose not to continue with that item or we could add it to our arsenal of flavors.

Because we were encouraged to try, I have tried a lot. I embraced Grandpa's philosophy on trying new things. I am usually the first in my group of friends to take a sample. I try not to influence them by telling them how something tastes because I don't want to ruin their first experience with a new flavor. 

This is a long way of saying that my challenge wasn't in trying something new but in finding something I haven't already tried. I wanted my choice to be something I could work with withing the parameters of the assignment. So I asked my friends to give me ideas of what I should try.  And then went with none of them. 

What I Tried

I decided to go with a fruit I've never tried before. I had originally decided on the ugli fruit. I took an exploratory trip to Mejiers because I had heard that they had a great selection of unusual fruits and vegetables. And did they ever! I ended up buying $30 worth of new fruits. I bought the ugli fruit, a blood orange, a star fruit, a prickly pear (which I really thought was a made up fruit from the jungle book, but low and behold it is real), and kumquats. And I tried them all. Some were good, others were disappointing. 

What I Chose

I decided to create my projects around the kumquat. And there is a reason for that. When I was little my mom always called me her little kumquat. I thought a kumquat was a nut or a melon. I had no idea it was a citrus fruit. I had no idea it was tiny. And I had no idea you ate the whole thing.  Funny thing is....neither did mom. She just like the name "kumquat."  

What I Did

I decided that because I was a visual communicator, I could not fall back on my normal visual methods. I don't know if you know this about me but I am a little competitive, and have a driving desire to go one step further. That being said, I decided to create a textural and audio experience. I will be handing out a small item to everyone in the classroom. I will have everyone close their eyes while I play a sound clip. While they are listening, they will be rolling their item in their hands. I wanted to create an experience that utilized more than a visual. I want to eliminate the visual all together. I want my classmates to rely only on their senses of hearing and touch. 

I should probably explain the flavor for anyone who has never tasted a kumquat. To begin it looks like a baby orange. But unlike an orange, you eat the entire thing (there is no peeling.) You wash it, you roll it in your fingers to release the oils, you pop it in your mouth, and chew. It starts off quite tart as you first get the juices exploding in your mouth. But as you chew, the peel is very sweet and that sweet begins to overtake the tart juice. It's quite delicious and is an unexpected experience. Please don't listen to the audio until you have the texture in your hands.

and just to let you know, the audio clips were found at freesound.com and were mixed in Adobe Audition. Below are the links to the individual sounds that I utilized.
https://www.freesound.org/people/MeloMuzika_com/sounds/173205/download/173205__melomuzika-com__violinloop-am-1.mp3
https://www.freesound.org/people/kake85/sounds/247881/download/247881__kake85__overall-quality-of-single-note-violin-e6.wav

What I Hope

I hope that everyone had a good experience with trying something new. You can't know if you'll like something if you don't try it. So many people miss out on amazing experiences because they are afraid to step out of their comfort zone. The trick to having an amazing life is to expand your comfort zone. That can only be done by these small steps...trying something for the first time.

YetAnotherClassTakeAway 8

Ryan

I was slightly disturbed by the Ryan video we watched. I’ll be honest, I was very disturbed by it for some reason. That being said there was a message that I got from the video. The message I got was that our creativity takes something from us and yet add to us at the same time. In essence, we leave a part of ourselves in each piece we create. We also gain an experience that we can draw from in the future. I might be wrong but I don’t mind being wrong.

Escape

I resemble the remark about escaping in games...and movies…and books to have experiences we lack in our own lives. I hate to admit it but I read romance novels. It’s an embarrassment that I have to live with. But the reason why I read romances is because I lack romance in my life. I watch action movies because I lack adventure in my life. I play puzzle games because I’m boring. (that one didn’t fit but it’s true)

Um… like… um… and stuff like that….um

The likes are as plentiful are as stars in the sand.

I have been paying attention to a lot of what is being said in class. I take notes. I’m a nerd. But one notation that I have made from pretty much every class thus far is that the word “like” and “stuff like that” are things that are said WAY TOO MUCH. I’m not trying to call anyone out because I know that I’m not a very efficient public speaker myself. I have come to the conclusion that pretty much all of us need to partake in intercommunication classes.

“Roar! It will be logical!”

I just liked that sentence. I don’t have any insight on that, just that I like it. I do sort of resemble that comment a little, also. But it doesn't mean I have insight.

It’s still you

“It starts off as you but ends up you, but a more intentional you.” I love this. We aren’t changing who we are in this class. We are changing how we see ourselves and how we portray ourselves in our work. We are learning how to give a part of ourselves that we didn’t know how to tap into. We are exploring ways to express our opinions and experiences. We are still who we were before, just like we are who we will be in the future.  So be bold and be yourself.

A Final Reflection

I was already excited about my book alteration but now I’m even more so. I have purchased all the materials I will need to execute the pendant. I’m just waiting for them to be delivered. I’m also excited about my “cover” or acrylic box. I was sitting in the hallway when the acrylic idea came to me. I like the idea that you can see my transformation but you can’t touch it unless I choose to open the box that keeps me safe. It’s my armor. I’ll let you see some of me but you can’t see all of me unless I let you.

I really don't like to be center of attention. I wasn't kidding when I said that when I was showing who I am and why I'm here. I just wanted to give an example of how true that is. I used to give planetarium shows and telescope viewings when I was at Butler. It was by far my favorite job EVER. I couldn't understand why I hated talking in from of people but loved my job so much. I eventually figured it out. When I was giving planetarium shows I was in the dark. No one could see me. They just heard my voice. I was never the center of the attention.. the show was. 

I've Got This Covered

Oh So Many Ideas... to narrow down to my top three.

My thought for my book was to create a Mobius strip pendant out of silver with a resin with the ashes mixed in to create a ball that “rolls” on the surface.  Because I am making a piece of jewelry, I’m thinking I should redesign the cover to create a type of jewelry box or pouch. So here are my two ideas for my “cover”.

1

 Make a jewelry box. Each side of the box would have images from the semester. One side would be the egg, one would be the reuse project, one would be a doodle, etc. I could either make a doodle of the projects or I could make an illustration of the projects. I don’t think I’d use photographs just because I’m not a great photographer. I’m a little particular and it would drive me nuts to have images on my box that are not what I would deem high quality.

2 

 I could doodle the projects on the back side of my book cover where it is plain stock. I would then cut this doodle into strip that would be weaved. I would then take the weaving, line it with a satin to make a jewelry pouch.

3  

 My final idea is to take an image of the doodle to create a screen print that I would put on the back then stitch it together to make the pouch. I could also take the words on the cover and from the semester and make a word map that would be screen printed. I’m not sure which would be easiest.

I’m really excited by all of these ideas and each presents its own challenges. I have made a lot of boxes for classes at Ivy Tech when we were learning about package design and I really enjoyed the challenge. I have an astounding appreciation for stitched paper and think that would be a fun option. And I have recently started using a screen print kit that I bought years ago and am constantly thinking of new ways I can use it. 

Taking It Away 7

“I Am A Tool”

Let the giggling commence.

I enjoyed the “Who am I?” project immensely. I really wish we had time to see everyone’s projects. I’m always intrigued with how others see what I missed. I loved the concept of my project but I’m never satisfied with final result. That being said, I could very easily re-do this project. I focused on what I was not. I’d like to do it again with what I am.

Why Why Why Why

I would never make a good mother because that single word annoys me. There are times when the why does not matter. But the who, the when, the how, the when are just as important. But seeing as this is the purpose of the class I will put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

I’m not so efficient at answering why? I want to say just because but I know that won’t get me far. I also know that I can’t grow as an artist/designer if I ignore the why too long.

Polly Anna

I am not Polly Anna either. I do try to see where others are coming from and I do try to avoid being too negative. I try to see other people’s perspective. Just because it is my way doesn’t mean my way is the only way or that my way is even correct. But I take ownership of it so that should account or something.

I’m not feeling all that insightful today. Usually I full of reflection after class but today was so short that I’m feeling a little lack luster. I was sad that class was cut short as this is the only class this semester that I’m enjoying. 

Holes

Who Am I?

This is a question that plagues me. I don't know who I am. While completing the blind drawings in class, I was just thinking about how much fun I was having. But when I took home the sketch Kyle did of me I was perplexed as to how to approach the assignment of identifying who we are and why we are here. I stared at the sketch. I turned the sketch and stared at it again. 

I was struggling. 

I then looked at what Kyle had written. "Tell me I'm Pretty!" How profound.

I am constantly craving the assurance of others to validate me. I'm insecure enough that I don't just want this constant assurance, I NEED it. 

Why Am I Here?

This is why I'm here.

I am riddled with the holes created by self doubt. I am here to start filling these holes.

 I can only become more skilled if I practice my craft. 

I can only be creative enough by establishing my personal creative strategies

(which I am working on in this class). 

I can only be smart enough by continuing my education, both in school and in life. 

I can only give more if I give to myself first. 

I can only get thinner if I have discipline. 

I can only feel beautiful if I find the beauty in others.

I can only feel lovable by loving.

I can only be confident if I trust myself.

I can only discover my path if I take the first step. 

(Just because I liked my concept sketch better than the actual image, I'm going to share it.)

TakeAwaySix

 

I have nothing to say today. That’s not entirely true but it’s sort of true. I have things to say but I’m not sure how to say it.  

Disappointments

I was a little disappointed with the response my project received. I was so proud of the thought process, the design, and the final product. No I didn’t reuse anything but I did rationalize the end result so it made sense. I guess I was expecting at least one person to think it was good and it didn’t seem as though anyone did. It was a little bit of a letdown. I am still proud of it, but my excitement about it has decreased a little.

Admiration

I really admired the comment about reusing a dream. It was an intriguing idea. How many times do we put our dreams on the back burner or abandon them all together because we deem them unrealistic or outlandish? Why couldn’t we take our childhood dreams and recycle them to design our future?

Anxieties

All people have anxiety but creative individuals seem to have a unique brand of fears. Even though we are in a safe environment, we all still carry our default fears. It’s only when we reject our fears that we can move forward in the pursuit of excellent design. We hold ourselves back because we are afraid of judgment. We are afraid of being seen as inferior. We are afraid of putting our hearts and souls into a project only to be rejected as not good enough.

 We forget that it is not ourselves that are being rejected. And in fact, it’s not really a rejection at all. Just because someone does not like our work doesn’t mean we are lacking, it means someone else has a different perspective that doesn’t match our own. This is something I have to keep in mind within my own career.

Reflection

I have a huge fear barrier. I fear physical and emotional pain. I fear being rejected because of who I am. I am afraid of conforming too much and becoming a corporate drone. I fear losing who I am because I’m afraid of being who I am. I’m afraid of losing my voice.

Because of the vastness of my fear, I appreciate the comment that our fear is a hammer. It can be a tool that we can use to build our dreams. It can be a weapon that can tear down our fear. It is our choice on how we use the hammer. 

The Reuse Paradox

The Challenge

How can we be creative with the word “re-use”? That is the challenge should we accept it.

The Prep

I’m a researching  fool. I like to analyze the problem before I plan my attack. So I googled “re-use.” Yes, I google. So I got the definition of reuse.

Well, that was boring…*yawn*

So I googled “reuse thesaurus”

I could do something with this but again, boring.

I then thought, how about an anagram!

 I googled anagram reuse...at least that was my intent but I hit enter after typing anagram and was asked by Google if I meant nag a ram, which made me giggle. I refined my search by adding reuse to the search as I had intended. It comes as a surprise to me that the only five letter word utilizing the letters r e u s e is reuse. I thought this was ironic. I immediately doubted my use of the word irony, and googled that, too.

Now I’m wondering if I could do something creative with irony…oh look at the synonyms! Paradoxical, that’s a cool word. Shall I google that?

Now the question is how can I be creative with paradoxical? 

The Execution

I love the idea of working with paradoxical, so off I went. I did google paradox images and found some decent inspirations and began to sketch. This is what I came up with. 

Not wanting to just have a sketch, I decided to make a mobile of sorts. So I trekked out to Michael's to purchase some clay to mold a mobile. I wouldn't call myself a sculptor, in fact, I have only sculpted a few things and very poorly. So this was an adventure. I took my sketch and began to mold a lump of clay.

It took me a long time to get this somewhat right. I know what I have in my head but I have no idea how to make it a physical reality. But the pieces I made kind of look the way I want.

The next step is to bake it to harden the clay. I made the mistake of using wax paper, which scorched the backside but I don't have time to redo it.

The Result

The final product is almost what I wanted it to be.

 I'm really proud of it.

Calgon Take Me Away 5

What to say about today...Today was aggravating. I was first irritated by the coloring book exercise. I didn't get anything out of this exercise that I didn't already know, plus I ruined a page in my book that I then had to put away immediately because I felt compelled to fix it the entire class. I already know I have control issues but there are times when that control has served me well. Structure is not a bad word. Control is not a bad word. The second thing that irritated me will remain unmentioned. In the spirit of do no harm, I will bite my tongue and take deep breaths. This class just didn't do it for me.  

As for what I learned today....
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I liked the comment about trying to describe how you hear circles. That was like trying to describe how blue smells. If you know the context of the comment you know immediately how circles sound. But taken out of context, it sounds like an existential quandary.  

I was also intrigued about the name compost method. I do the same thing, I just never gave it a name. I like to have the time to mull it over, I like thinking until an idea grabs hold of my brain and burrows down deep. I think it makes it both a breeze since I know what I want, but a challenge because I have a specific image in my head and I have to work hard to make it a reality. 

On a side note, I have been obsessing about my altered book project. I spent all of Friday watching YouTube videos to learn the finer aspects of metal forging, soldering, and creating resin beads. I have learned how to recycle certain types of plastics by melting them down to make a super light weight solid plastic piece. I spent the ENTIRE DAY watching videos. I had so much homework to do but I watched videos instead. I almost signed up for a metal jewelry class at the Indianapolis Art Center. It would have been ironic seeing as the class would cost me over $300 and my book is about personal finance. I can just see myself spending money to learn how to make one thing for class. But I have discovered a new subject for my insatiable thirst for knowledge. I have been obsessed with learning stained glass windows. I want to learn how to sculpt, and paint, and do photography and now metal jewelry making... all of which keep getting put on the back burner as I try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 

but I'm a good girl

Bucking the Rules

I found this assignment to be very uncomfortable so I'm calling it bucking the rules instead of breaking the rules. I nearly always abide by the rules except for the speed limit because there is no way I should have to go that slow (school zones being the exception). Stress levels elevate greatly when rules are broken for no good reason. So I had to take baby steps with this project. I do think that in the world of design, you have to have a very good reason to break the rules. And a good reason is NOT because you didn't know there were rules or that the designer was being lazy. Now that the rant is over, here are the results of my baby steps.

Comic Sans-

I love typography. I'm a nerd in my own way. And because I love typography I know that there is very little if any redeeming qualities of comic sans. You can have an amazing design and it is ruined with the introduction of this nugget of doo.  You might think, "I'll make it better with a stroke!" and you would be wrong. So that is what I did. I used comic sans with a stroke to create this little gem.

It's okay if a little boring.

Horrible Web Design-

I might be majoring in web design. I'm not sure yet but it's possible. So I looked for a horrible web site to play with in Photoshop like was done in class. Here is the gem I found in my search for a horrible site. It's pretty fantastic.

This is my final product in my Photoshop play time. I almost want to print this and mount it for wall art. I think it's purtiful!

While I was playing with these two attempts to rule breaking, I discovered that I had a hard time to stop. I was thinking while working with the comic sans, "what other rules can I think of that need to be addressed?" I saved incramentally, and realized that I usually went a step too far and because I have a hard time turning in something ugly, I had to back track. That is all...