TakeAwaySix

 

I have nothing to say today. That’s not entirely true but it’s sort of true. I have things to say but I’m not sure how to say it.  

Disappointments

I was a little disappointed with the response my project received. I was so proud of the thought process, the design, and the final product. No I didn’t reuse anything but I did rationalize the end result so it made sense. I guess I was expecting at least one person to think it was good and it didn’t seem as though anyone did. It was a little bit of a letdown. I am still proud of it, but my excitement about it has decreased a little.

Admiration

I really admired the comment about reusing a dream. It was an intriguing idea. How many times do we put our dreams on the back burner or abandon them all together because we deem them unrealistic or outlandish? Why couldn’t we take our childhood dreams and recycle them to design our future?

Anxieties

All people have anxiety but creative individuals seem to have a unique brand of fears. Even though we are in a safe environment, we all still carry our default fears. It’s only when we reject our fears that we can move forward in the pursuit of excellent design. We hold ourselves back because we are afraid of judgment. We are afraid of being seen as inferior. We are afraid of putting our hearts and souls into a project only to be rejected as not good enough.

 We forget that it is not ourselves that are being rejected. And in fact, it’s not really a rejection at all. Just because someone does not like our work doesn’t mean we are lacking, it means someone else has a different perspective that doesn’t match our own. This is something I have to keep in mind within my own career.

Reflection

I have a huge fear barrier. I fear physical and emotional pain. I fear being rejected because of who I am. I am afraid of conforming too much and becoming a corporate drone. I fear losing who I am because I’m afraid of being who I am. I’m afraid of losing my voice.

Because of the vastness of my fear, I appreciate the comment that our fear is a hammer. It can be a tool that we can use to build our dreams. It can be a weapon that can tear down our fear. It is our choice on how we use the hammer. 

The Reuse Paradox

The Challenge

How can we be creative with the word “re-use”? That is the challenge should we accept it.

The Prep

I’m a researching  fool. I like to analyze the problem before I plan my attack. So I googled “re-use.” Yes, I google. So I got the definition of reuse.

Well, that was boring…*yawn*

So I googled “reuse thesaurus”

I could do something with this but again, boring.

I then thought, how about an anagram!

 I googled anagram reuse...at least that was my intent but I hit enter after typing anagram and was asked by Google if I meant nag a ram, which made me giggle. I refined my search by adding reuse to the search as I had intended. It comes as a surprise to me that the only five letter word utilizing the letters r e u s e is reuse. I thought this was ironic. I immediately doubted my use of the word irony, and googled that, too.

Now I’m wondering if I could do something creative with irony…oh look at the synonyms! Paradoxical, that’s a cool word. Shall I google that?

Now the question is how can I be creative with paradoxical? 

The Execution

I love the idea of working with paradoxical, so off I went. I did google paradox images and found some decent inspirations and began to sketch. This is what I came up with. 

Not wanting to just have a sketch, I decided to make a mobile of sorts. So I trekked out to Michael's to purchase some clay to mold a mobile. I wouldn't call myself a sculptor, in fact, I have only sculpted a few things and very poorly. So this was an adventure. I took my sketch and began to mold a lump of clay.

It took me a long time to get this somewhat right. I know what I have in my head but I have no idea how to make it a physical reality. But the pieces I made kind of look the way I want.

The next step is to bake it to harden the clay. I made the mistake of using wax paper, which scorched the backside but I don't have time to redo it.

The Result

The final product is almost what I wanted it to be.

 I'm really proud of it.

Calgon Take Me Away 5

What to say about today...Today was aggravating. I was first irritated by the coloring book exercise. I didn't get anything out of this exercise that I didn't already know, plus I ruined a page in my book that I then had to put away immediately because I felt compelled to fix it the entire class. I already know I have control issues but there are times when that control has served me well. Structure is not a bad word. Control is not a bad word. The second thing that irritated me will remain unmentioned. In the spirit of do no harm, I will bite my tongue and take deep breaths. This class just didn't do it for me.  

As for what I learned today....
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I liked the comment about trying to describe how you hear circles. That was like trying to describe how blue smells. If you know the context of the comment you know immediately how circles sound. But taken out of context, it sounds like an existential quandary.  

I was also intrigued about the name compost method. I do the same thing, I just never gave it a name. I like to have the time to mull it over, I like thinking until an idea grabs hold of my brain and burrows down deep. I think it makes it both a breeze since I know what I want, but a challenge because I have a specific image in my head and I have to work hard to make it a reality. 

On a side note, I have been obsessing about my altered book project. I spent all of Friday watching YouTube videos to learn the finer aspects of metal forging, soldering, and creating resin beads. I have learned how to recycle certain types of plastics by melting them down to make a super light weight solid plastic piece. I spent the ENTIRE DAY watching videos. I had so much homework to do but I watched videos instead. I almost signed up for a metal jewelry class at the Indianapolis Art Center. It would have been ironic seeing as the class would cost me over $300 and my book is about personal finance. I can just see myself spending money to learn how to make one thing for class. But I have discovered a new subject for my insatiable thirst for knowledge. I have been obsessed with learning stained glass windows. I want to learn how to sculpt, and paint, and do photography and now metal jewelry making... all of which keep getting put on the back burner as I try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 

but I'm a good girl

Bucking the Rules

I found this assignment to be very uncomfortable so I'm calling it bucking the rules instead of breaking the rules. I nearly always abide by the rules except for the speed limit because there is no way I should have to go that slow (school zones being the exception). Stress levels elevate greatly when rules are broken for no good reason. So I had to take baby steps with this project. I do think that in the world of design, you have to have a very good reason to break the rules. And a good reason is NOT because you didn't know there were rules or that the designer was being lazy. Now that the rant is over, here are the results of my baby steps.

Comic Sans-

I love typography. I'm a nerd in my own way. And because I love typography I know that there is very little if any redeeming qualities of comic sans. You can have an amazing design and it is ruined with the introduction of this nugget of doo.  You might think, "I'll make it better with a stroke!" and you would be wrong. So that is what I did. I used comic sans with a stroke to create this little gem.

It's okay if a little boring.

Horrible Web Design-

I might be majoring in web design. I'm not sure yet but it's possible. So I looked for a horrible web site to play with in Photoshop like was done in class. Here is the gem I found in my search for a horrible site. It's pretty fantastic.

This is my final product in my Photoshop play time. I almost want to print this and mount it for wall art. I think it's purtiful!

While I was playing with these two attempts to rule breaking, I discovered that I had a hard time to stop. I was thinking while working with the comic sans, "what other rules can I think of that need to be addressed?" I saved incramentally, and realized that I usually went a step too far and because I have a hard time turning in something ugly, I had to back track. That is all...

Responsi-damn-bility

This fourth class take away is brought to you in part by the letter R.

There are two things that stuck out to me. And the first is the concept that most people stay within the tiny bubble of what they know. I find this incredibly sad. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bubble. My bubble is cozy and warm and comfortable. But as all bubbles, it is also isolating and restrictive. If you stay in the bubble you can never experience what others experience. You could never understand how or why people in other parts of the world do what they do. You can claim that you read a book about some far off location, you can watch a movie or show. But can you taste the food by reading a book? Can you smell the air when you watch a movie? Can you experience the sunset from that part of the world or what makes that location amazing and terrifying and unique?

Bubbles are comfortable but bubbles eventually pop. Plus if you spread your wings just a little, that experience can broaden your mind and create new avenues for your designs.

And her is where the letter R comes into play.

The second thing that stuck out to me is the concept that we not only have a responsibility to ourselves but to society, and we have to find where the line is drawn. This stuck with me because I’m constantly saying people need to stop blaming everyone else and learn to think for themselves. It is so much easier to blame someone else for your faults and failures. You were dealt a crappy hand. You were sabotaged by a co-worker. You saw it on the internet or TV. You thought it was a bad idea but everyone else was doing it so you did it, too… When did we forget to take responsi-damn-bility (I stole this from …I’m just saying… on YouTube) of our own actions? We have a choice to do what we know to be wrong or to change ourselves.  We have a responsibility to try to be productive members of society. I should not have to shoulder the responsibility for my actions and yours.

That being said, I do take responsibility for what I put out into the world because that is MY choice. I could promote negativity and hate, or I could promote positivity and acceptance. Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m right and you are wrong. I doesn’t mean you’re right and I’m wrong. It could be that we are both right… or both wrong. But I will put out there what I feel is most responsible.  What you do with that is entirely up to you.

50 Ways to Alter a Book

There are only so many ways one can destroy a book: tear, burn, blow-up, etc. But there are a million ways we can alter a book to create something new. Here is my list of fifty possibilities to alter the book that I chose to describe something negative about me.

(my book is An Idiot's Guide to Personal Finance because I'm financially stupid. I know what I should do to get out of debt but I constantly sabotage myself)

What if I…

 1.       White wash all the pages to create a clean book to write my own story?

 2.       Cut out the center of the book and add my own stuff?

 3.       Burn the edges of the pages to illustrate how I burn through money?

 4.       Shred the pages to help fertilize a tree I would grow from a seed?

 5.       Take a sharpie to each page and write my own advice?

 6.       Use the pages to decoupage a canvas for a textured painting about me?

 7.       Shellac the book shut and paint a new cover?

 8.       Take a video of me rolling in the ripped out pages like I was rolling in money? (not naked because…no)

 9.       Write my aspirations with sharpie on each page?

 10.   Put the book on a shelf to get dusty, then shellac the dust permanently on the book?

 11.   Shred the pages, mix it with cement and make a statue for my garden?

 12.   Burn it and spread its ashes in all my favorite places?

 13.   Create a paste with the pages and make a painting?

 14.   Use the pages to create a plaster to create an “idea tree” where the extra pages would be used to write the idea behind all the class assignments?

 15.   Wad the pages up to create a nest of ideas? 

 16.   Roll the pages up to make stems for flowers with the petals being the ideas behind the class assignments?

 17.   Roll up the pages to create a paper forest? Because sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees…

 18.   Shellac the book shut because money isn’t everything?

 19.   Decorate the book with all the religious symbols because money is the root of all evil?

 20.   Make a battery powered outlet with the outlet being visible from the front cover because money is power?

 21.   Use the paper from the book as a fuse for fireworks?

 22.   Make a clay out of the pages to model a car because money drives the world?

 23.   Find a company that could take the ashes of the book to create a diamond?

 24.   Make a resin pendant with the ideas from the semester suspended in the resin?

 25.   Make a rut in the center of the book to remind myself to stay out of it?

 26.   Shape the book into a cog or gear with one tooth missing to remind me to not be a cot in the wheel?

 27.   Make a keep-sake box out of the book?

 28.   Design a new cover for the book to say why money isn’t important?

 29.   Make the book into a canvas then paint about the semester?

 30.   Saw the book in two as if to slash prices?

 31.   Create a paint with the ashes to paint on a shirt?

 32.   Make a confetti with the pages to spray paint and toss around myself in celebration?

 33.   Make a confetti with the pages, fill balloon with the confetti, and pop the balloon?

 34.   Make an ink from the ashes and write my own rules to banking?

 35.   Create a mobile for my soon to be niece/nephew?

 36.   Create a Mobius strip with the pages of the book, and the assignments described on the pages?

 37.   Make a chain out of the pages and shellac them to make the chain strong?

 38.   Make a walking stick out of the pages to aid me on my journey?

 39.   Make a paper machete airplane to soar about my challenges?

 40.   Give the book to someone who is excellent in finance to find the holes in the instructions the book gives?

 41.   Put the book in a safe deposit box in a bank with all my print outs from my blog?

 42.   Make origami cranes for prosperity from the pages of my book?

 43.   Take the book to a lake, weigh it down, and make it “swim with the fishes?”

 44.   Tear out all the pages, lay the pages out in a brick path, and spray paint them gold to represent the road to OZ?

 45.   Give the book a mud bath then use a shellac to make the mud permanent?

 46.   Use the pages as rolling papers, the burn them to symbolize money going up in smoke?

 47.   Take the ashes and release them in the river in Gatlinburg, TN? (my home away from home)

 48.   Confront my fears of failure and ridicule by carrying the book with me everywhere?

 49.   Make a large hallow ball with the pages, shellac it, cut out images to represent the semester, and then illuminate it from the inside?

 50.   ….

This one is blank because I will fill it with all the future ideas I will have…

Week 4 Class Take Away...I think

I wanted to write my blog while class was still fresh in my mind as there were a lot of items that made me think and intrigued me. I really wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything after taking my medicine that will put me into a drugged stupor. While writing under the influence can be highly entertaining, that's not what I want to submit for a class blog. So here goes....

Intrigue #1

We sensor ourselves to not worry about the little thing...

I found this little nugget very intriguing. I think, as adults, we tend to smooth over the minor details because we would drive ourselves completely bonkers if we nit-picked every little detail of our daily life. That being said, because we get into the habit of brushing past said details, we miss out on a lot of these tiny yet amazing wonders of life. I need to take the time to revel in the tactile feel of grass beneath my bare feet instead of focusing on getting to where I need to be. I need to really look at the graffiti to really experience the amazing works of art they really are...some of the times. I need sometimes not worry so much about the big picture and focus in on some of the small details....yet not get so wrapped up in the small details that I forget the big picture all together.

Intrigue #2

All creatives have a degree of ADD

I have been having a hard time deciding what I want to be when I grow up. I get wrapped up in a program or field only to be distracted by that shiny new program that is dangled in front of me. I really do get distracted by flashing lights and sparkle and when it comes to deciding a path to follow for the rest of my life I get overwhelmed because I want to do it all. I know it is not possible to do it all but I crave the knowledge, even if it's just a basic know how. 

Another issue is that when I set time aside to work on one class or one project, there is always another class project or personal project that pops in the noggin. I then have a hard time convincing myself to work on the project that is more time sensitive. Some times it's better to just work on the nagging idea to get it out of the way, but other times that results in a really crappy result for the more pressing project. 

Intrigue #3

The world does not allow for our passions

This is a very depressing concept to me but that doesn't mean it isn't true. I despise that we have to pick what we want to be when we grow up as young adults. At that time we are so inexperienced, we have yet to see the world for all it's potentials. By choosing a path in our early twenties, we become pigeon-holed. That is now our job and changing paths mid-life is extremely difficult. I know this from experience. 

I am 35 years old. I studied at Butler University in the field of physics and astrophysics straight out of high school. Because life does not always go the way you expect, I ended up leaving school before I graduated and ended up working for the local government. I will never regret my time at Butler or the money I ended up wasting by not getting my degree. But at the same time, as an adult, I know I would have been miserable in that field. There is not a lot of room for creativity in the field of physics. I chose that field because I was told math and physics were my strong suit and I enjoyed it at the time. But I had no knowledge of creative fields like Graphic Design and Web Design.  

Now that I'm considered an adult, it is thought that I should be what I am and nothing more. It was a hard decision to change my life and find my passion. I had a friend who asked me why I was so unhappy and I had to stop and think about what he was asking. I realized that I had no idea what my passion was. I still struggle to define my passion. I have spent so much time being the productive adult I had become that I had lost track of what truly made me me. I'm still trying to find my passion and what will ultimately make me not only a productive member of society but a happy member of society.  I might should strive toward contented member of society but I'd rather aim for happy.

Intrigue #4

Don't be a slave to the rut and don't sell your soul to the corporate machine

I think this goes hand in hand with the idea of finding your passion. The corporate machine that is our society wants to pigeon-hole us. You are what you are and nothing else. But we are all more than one dimensional. We are more than two dimensional. There are so many facets to all of us that to allow society and our future professions to limit what we can do and be seems a crime. I don't want to be a cog. I want to be everything...or nothing. But I want it to be MY decision, not someone else's. I want to be able to pull from all the pieces of me when I'm working on projects. I want to be able to more than a one trick pony. Diversify. Diversify. Diversify.

Intrigue #5 

I promise this is the last one....

Conversations with a new friend

I was really anxious about talking with a person we did not know for 20-30 minutes. I don't make friends very easily. I love to listen to people and to learn more about them but I am very closed off when it comes to me. I have been labeled stuck up, bitchy, rude, and conceited by people because I keep to myself. What they don't understand is that I'm terrified of interpersonal interactions. I was an outcast in grade school, and seeing as I went to very small parochial schools I was never able to overcome my sub-human social class. I carried that stigma through high school and by the time I entered college (the first go-around) I was socially stunted. I have a small group of friends but I don't even share too much with them. 

That was a long drawn out assessment of me. The reason I felt it was necessary to expose myself is that I know in my mind that I will find amazing people that I have a lot in common with, like I did today. But I still have that fear of being rejected like I have been most of my life. It's that fear that mars me. It is that fear that controls my life. It is that fear that dictates my decisions in life. It is that fear that makes me push people away. It is that fear that is paralyzing and crippling. It is that fear that I would never wish on another person, EVER. 

Oh... To Doodle All Day

Oh to doodle all day! 

I have never been one to doodle "just because".  I am one of those who doodled in class as my mind would wonder. So to be told to doodle for a half an hour was difficult for me. A doodle for me is an aimless, mindless movement of the pen on paper. I have never used doodles to help myself learn. I'm very impressed that people are able to do this. I have made the sketch of what I see on the board or in a book to impress it on my brain, but not as a way to impress words or sounds.  So we'll see how this goes....

Giving the Time of Day

So I have been sick for the past week and most of the time I have been out cold in bed or asleep on my couch (with my loving dogs using me for a pillow, I love my dogs). So I finally decided to do my doodles one evening. It was late as that's what happens when you sleep the day away. I watched the Ted X talk, and was intrigued. So I got my sketch pad out.

Giving the Old College Try

I set my alarm on my phone for 30 minutes. I can do this, it's only 30 minutes. I grabbed a pen ( I used a green gel pen because what else would you use.) And off we go... I had a hard time starting. What do you doodle for Synchronicity, spontaneity, serendipity, and surrender? I have no idea. So I started with four S's. I was trying to figure out what to do from there and as I was thinking I started making curved lines around my "SSSS". The curved lines started to take the form of a heart....So I shot it with an arrow.  You might think I was thinking about this stupid upcoming holiday called Valentines Day, but you would be wrong.  I was watching the Hunger Games. Then the arrows took over. I then drew a tree in the bottom right hand corner. I randomly thought about swinging and so my tree suddenly grew a horizontal branch that was perfect for a swing.

As I said earlier, I have been sick. I started coughing so hard my chest hurt... hence the spew of germs being emitted from the wide open mouth.  I wish I could explain the rest but I have slept since then and forgot. I should have written this immediately but... I don't know if I've said it or not but I was sick and 30 minutes of sketching seemed to have taxed my endurance. 

What Did We Learn?

So what could be the purpose of this exercises? I discovered that I was able to let my mind wonder while I was doodling. There were creatures on my page when I was finished that I could take to create something interesting. I was able to clear my mind of the assignment after a few minutes. I was amazed when the alarm went off. I didn't think I had been doodling that long. I also learned that I am very influenced by my surroundings. That means I need to explore more of the world so I can draw from the scenery that is different from my normal.  I learned that I draw myself as if I have horrendous halitosis.