Semester Take Away

What to say about the semester…

I have had mixed feelings about this class. This class was my favorite class I took this semester but there were a few ups and downs that took the gleam off for me.

Up

The first class was exactly what I was hoping for. I don’t know why I was so stoked (do people still say stoked?) to be doing the assignments and I had hoped others in the class would expend the same amount of energy on the projects and in class discussions as I had hoped.

Down

I was a fool to expect others to have the same work ethic as me. It makes me feel old when I think about how most of the people in class were ten or more years younger than me. And yet with just ten years difference there seemed to be a world of difference in drive and desire to get as much as possible from class. I’m not talking about the “art therapy” portion, but rather, the learning new techniques to approach assignments or jobs. There was a lot of surface skimming, not a lot of getting past the clique to the really creative stuff.

Up

The taste of cumquat sounds and feels like… a fun approach to a problem. I tried so hard to go past the assignments as I could. I could have just done something for the texture, or just something for the audio. But trying to take the visual out completely and focusing on both the touch and sound made me happy. I was so very proud of that project. And yet I hardly got any feedback from it. I was disappointed. Pride cometh before the fall…

Down

I failed at the round robin. That’s the only way I can describe it. I failed. I failed at time management. I failed at proper research. I failed myself. But it didn’t kill me to fail so that was good. And because I failed so hard, I was able to attempt it again for the fear assignment. And I felt like I won that time. I’m glad I didn’t do what I had planned on doing for the fear assignment. I love to sing even though I’m pretty sure I suck at it. I was going to sing my favorite song in class and volunteer to sing a solo in church. Because my fear was altered due to unforeseen circumstances…I was spared the torture of failing in front of a lot of people at something that gives me such pleasure.

Up

I loved my bible dipping project. I loved how I approached it. Doing “research” and rejecting the normal definition of ‘reuse’ gave me a new approach to addressing a problem. That my friends is what I was hoping to get out of the semester.

Down

I was very disappointed with the passing of the torch…even before Beth broke her ankle. I have been in several classes where curriculum changes so drastically that lessons are missed. For instance, in grade school, my class never learned geography (and I do mean never. I never had a lesson on states or capitals. And I sure as hell never learned where the other countries are located.) The curriculum had changed so much between years that lessons were never given. This trend has continued in my high school and college education. I always get in the class that things go wrong, get changed up, or a new approach is being tested. It drives me nuts. I get to feeling jipped. That is how I felt…jipped.

Up

The summer is here and I’m going to take a nap.

I do want to say thank you.

Thank you for all the fun projects.

Thank you for creating this class.

Thank you

The Final Take Away

This last class was just another class it seemed. There were some good projects…some last minute projects…my project that didn’t turn out as well as I had planned in my head. I loved the puzzle, because all butts are great. I also liked the sketch book turned glitter bomb book. But I want to get back to ….

All Butts are Great

My insecurities make me feel like skinny people are judging me for being overweight. I could never know what someone else thinks about me or other “big kids.” But I project my judgement of myself onto the others. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin so how could anyone else be comfortable looking at me? But when I heard “all butts are great” coming from someone who does not look like she’s ever struggled with her weight, it makes me realize, I’m probably a harsher judge of myself than others are of me. People have their own problems and probably don’t give me a single thought.

Other than that…

I really enjoyed Eric’s capstone project. It really struck a chord with me. My mom is battling cancer and has been for 10 years. People are always asking how she’s doing, how I’m doing, how the family’s doing… and it is very easy to get annoyed with the question. But in taking a moment to think that others might be uncomfortable and yet genuinly concerned… it would make the annoyance seem less important.

Altered Book of Me

I have been very excited about the “altered book” assignment. I have spent way too much time focused on how I was going to execute the ideas rolling in my mind. I should probably start at the beginning.

The Book

The book that represents a part of me that I do not like was Idiot’s Guide to Personal Finance. I chose this book because even though I know how to save money and make good decisions, I do the opposite. I am continually broke and my bills keep increasing. I’m a financial failure. I admit it.

The Concept

During the “50 What if…’s” assignment I fell in love with the idea of burning my book and sending the ashes to have a diamond made. It would have only cost me $3000 (see why I’m a financial idiot?) But I don’t have $3000 at the moment so I had to forgo that option.

The other idea I had that really resonated with me was to make a Mӧbius strip with my book. I had originally thought about taking the pages and making a paper machete Mӧbius strip. But that seemed uninspired and not terribly creative.  I kept thinking about the diamond idea. It led to the decision to make a pendant in the shape of the Mӧbius strip with the ashes casted in resin as a ball that rolls on the surface.

The Preparation

It should be said that this pendant has cost me quite a pretty penny. It wasn’t as expensive as the diamond but it wasn’t cheap. I purchased silver sheets, two part resin, silicon mold, silver solder, a blow torch…and other paraphernalia. I watched videos and tutorials until I felt like I was an expert myself… that was a lie.

The Failures

It's amazing to me how even with all the preparation and effort I put into learning how to accomplish my proposed project, it all falls to shit. It just goes to show that the best laid plans to not guarantee success.

I have a beautiful silver pendant ready to be soldered. Unfortunately I decided to save a few dollars and bought a simple silver solder that said I wouldn’t need flux…they lied. I will have to revisit this silver pendant this summer because I really want it for my personal reasons. But because this failure, I had to reevaluate my approach.

The Rebound

In my reevaluation I realized I have in my possession what I need to create an interesting altered book. I have still burned my book and will be utilizing the ashes. But instead of making a small ball of resin to roll on the surface of the silver, the entire Mӧbius strip will be the ashes in the resin. I, again, am excited after the mortal blow to my confidence my previous failure dealt to my confidence.

The New Approach

The process was an eye opener and now I want to dabble more in silicon mold making. I used polymer clay to form the shape I wanted to cast my resin in. I am not a proficient sculptor so it has issues but I’m okay with it. I made a silicon mold from the baked clay. From there I mixed the two part resin, added the ashes (and some blue dye because I like blue.)

The Reason Behind It All

Why would a Mӧbius strip have meaning to me? Everything that I am, Everything I’ve seen, Everything I’ve done, and Everywhere I’ve been, it’s all a part of who I am and nothing can or will change it. I can pull inspiration from my past because it is a part of me. No matter how long it’s been it will always be a part of me. Live is not linear. Time is perceived that way but there really isn’t an end.

How I referenced our past assignments-

I have created a box (not very well) and on that box, I have doodled references to the assignments on the sides. The box is made of clear acrylic because I want to be able to share myself with others but I want to protect myself at the same time. There is no lid because I don’t want to be contained to a small space. I don’t want to be boxed away with preconceived notions of who or what I should be. I want to be able to escape those labels.

My final result was not as expected. It was flawed, just like me. There are pits and scars. There is some polish but the polish is spotty. Just like me.

ps. pictures will be added tonight.